10 Lies of Pregnancy

I am not saying that these things are true for everyone or even for most people, but these are things that I have found to be some of the widest spread lies about pregnancy in my experience and through my personal research.  Just a disclaimer: I am 33 weeks pregnant tomorrow.  I don't put a whole lot of stock in when I am due because I know he will come when he is ready and I have no intentions of being induced but it is hard not to count the days.  Anyways, I hope you can relate to this.

Deception, Exaggerations, and Blatant Lies

1. The time just flies by! The time does not fly by.  The time feels very slow while still pregnant.  I'm sure it will feel fast once it is done.
2. Pregnant women want to eat crazy things like pickles and ice cream.  Not all women get cravings for ridiculous things.  Not all women get cravings at all.  I have had wants for certain foods, but I haven't needed or wanted anything any more than before I was pregnant.
3. Pregnant women eat and eat and eat.  Pregnant women are not bottomless pits that can stuff endless amounts of food into their stomachs with no repercussions.  A normal sized meal feels like I ate four plates of food at Thanksgiving dinner.  I feel it for hours and hours afterward.
4. Pregnant women are fragile.  Pregnant women need to protect their little peanut, sure, but that doesn't mean that they can't do weight lifting, go running, exercise at higher than moderate levels, or participate in certain sports.  If you were training/exercising at a certain level before pregnancy, you might be able to keep that level up to a certain degree.  Don't try to increase the weight levels and play contact sports like football (I had to sit my season out), but see what works for you.  If you didn't exercise before, it is a good time to start (at low to moderate levels).
5. Pregnant women can't eat honey.  Maybe I was just offended by this one because of how much I love honey, but people tend to think that we can't eat honey because babies can't digest it.  The good and somewhat obvious news is that a full grown woman can digest honey which is the important part of this whole deception.
6. Every kick is magical.  Lies.  When I get kicked in the ribs until they are sore, it's hard to think of it as magical.  Also, gonna say getting hit in the round ligaments is just unfair.  It feels like getting hit in the "funny bone."  In all honesty, it's impossible to be angry at the little guy and I love that I can feel him getting stronger, but it is still downright uncomfortable at times.
7. Outtie bellybuttons are so cute!  Blatant dishonesty right there.  I find it incredibly awkward when my bellybutton enters a room before I do and there is nothing attractive about it. 
8. Your boobs will get so nice and big!  Big is truth, nice is deception.  Big boobs are troublesome! They are hard to contain and just flop around rather than being useful.  I find them incredibly bothersome and too big to be pretty.  No offense intended to women with big boobs.  I don't like them on me.
9. Pregnant women are emotionally unstable.  I won't deny that I have had emotional moments.  I almost swore at my own mother and then started crying once, but these moments are extremely few and far between. You might have to be the judge of this one because I feel like one emotional outburst in nine months is not that bad, but that might just be my opinion.
10. At least you don't have your period!  This is the biggest BS.  There is a little human growing inside a little tiny organ that has to keep stretching and stretching to accommodate it.  Let's just go ahead and acknowledge that it feels like cramps.  Add the extra hormones swimming around and the diminished immune system and you have a nine month long period minus the blood, which I hear comes back with a horrendous vengeance after the birth. Update: I still haven't had an actual period, but I bled for six weeks after giving birth. I thought it would never end.

Still think pregnancy is just magical?  In certain ways it is.  A beautiful little human being being is developing inside you and when it comes out it will be the center of your universe.  I have never been one to sugarcoat things.  There are part of pregnancy I like and parts I don't.  When my baby boy is born I might have a very different view of what pregnancy was like, but someone needs to bring these untruths to the attention of women about what pregnancy is like and what you can and cannot do.

Update: three months have passed since his birth and I still don't feel any better about pregnancy.